Emmett Why are so you Stupid?
by twilightgurl1026
Summary: When the rest of the Cullens are away Emmett,Bella,and Jasper will play! Harry Potter,Johnny Depp,and a fat monkey? Review!
1. The Pet Shack pt 1

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Between Eclipse and BD

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!

Ch.1 The Pet Shack pt.1

BPOV

Great! Everyone was hunting! I am left being babysat by Emmett and Jasper! Who knows what will happen! I walked over to Em.

''Hey bella lets go to the pet store!"Em yelled.

"Why?"I asked confused.

"I wanna get a turtle,hamster or gerbil,3 fish.2 dogs,4cat or kitties,1 snake,3 parrots,and a lizard!!!"Emmett listed off most of the animals in a pet store.

"Why do you want them?"I asked afraid of the answer.

"So i can open a pet shack!" He said in a "duh" voice.

"And you want to a open a pet shack because...?"

"I want to!"

"Okay but i am not touching the snake!" I said,I was scared of them(AN: I HATE snakes! i faint at the sight of them!).

~~~~~AT THE PET STORE~~~~~~~~

"Hello welcome to The Pet Shop(AN: its 4 in the mournig! give me a break!) How can i help you?" a saleman asked.

"We need...*insert animals list above*...and cage and food and bed and everything they may need!" Emmett said.

"Ummm....okay?'' th esalesperson was as confused as i was.

20 mins later everything was packed into a rented truck. the animals cost like 10,000(AN:IDK)!! Emmett drove to the mall.

"I already have they shack place ready,Jazz is there!" We enters the mall animals in tow.

10 mins later **Emmett,Bella,and Jaspers Crazy Critters **was open for business.

"Hey Bella..."Jazz whispered.

"Yea?"

"Wanna make a bet?"

"Sure!"

"Okay i bet you fifty bucks that Emmett won't sell anything"Jasper said.

"Ok I bet you fifty buck he will sell at least 2 things!"I said,Em had to sell something rite?

We shook hands.

Then I stood at the register.

"Hey Jazz where si Em?" I asked.

"IDK...you go look."

I left the shop and started through the mall.

I was about to go back when I found him! He was in Build-A-Bear workshop! I took out my camera phone an dsnapped a pix! He was holding a freshly stuffed kitty. I walked in.

"Umm...Em? Why are you holding a stuffed cat?"

"I want to! Im naming it Swimmy!"

"Isn't that a fish name?"

"Or Bedwerido!"

"go w swimmy!"

15 mins later i was draging Em back into the store. He spent 10 mins on clothes!

"Jasper I found him in Build-A-Bear!"

The next few hours went by good,we sold 10 things!I won the bet!

"Hey how bout Truth or Dare?" Em asked.

"Okay"Jazz and I agreed!

"Bella ToD?"Em asked.

"Truth?"

"Have you ever thought innapproprite thing about eddie?"She turned bright red.

"Yes"

JPOV

"Jasper Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to go up to a woman of my choosing and tell her you are a pornstar and need a new actress,aand say you already have the room ready! Then ask if she'll do it!"Bella said w/ a smirk.

We walked around the mall then I spotted Mrs Cope! Bella seen her to!

BPOV

"Mrs. Cope Jasper! Now go!"

EmPOV

HAHAHA!!!!! Bella is an evil genis! MRS. COPE?

JPOV

"Oh and you have to send waves a of lust to her" Bella said.!

I walked ove to Mrs Cope.

**AN: The whole pet shop will play into the plot on the next chapter! i really need to go to bed! its 4:37 am!!!!!!!!!! This is a mostly Jasper,Emmett,and Bella Edward or Rosalie,maybe Alice. Reviews make me happy!! **


	2. The Pet Shack Pt 2

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Between Eclipse and BD

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!

Ch.2 The Pet Shack pt.2

JPOV

"Mrs Cope! Can I ask you something!?"I asked.

"Call me Lori(AN:LOL inside jk c bottom AN) and Yes you may Jasper..."She purred in what she must have thought as a sexy voice.

"Im a pornstar!! I need an actress! I already have the room! Will you do it?"I asked as i sent waves of lust her way.

"Hell yes Jazzy baby i will make you fuck me so hard you'll be screaming! And ive always wanted to be a pornstar!! I just need to go into Victorias Sercret! And then after we are done you will dump your ho a a girlfr-"She was cut short,b/c i slapped her w/ as lil strenghth i could muster.

"I am appalled!! I must report you!"I said with that i walked away

"I hate you Bella!"

"Emmett TorD!?"I asked.

"La Der Der(AN:My signa. phrase!) Dare!"

"I dare you to makeout with a fat monkey,let us tape you and then put it on youtube!"

"Where are you going to get a fat monkey!?"he asked.

"! Hes is in the pet store now!"

We walked into the pet shack.

BPOV

Jasper handed me a video camera. He then left to get Gibby(the fat monkey link on the bottom AN:Lol ICarly! Gibby!?)...his new fat monkey

"Em,meet Gibby!"Jazz said.

Gibby smiled.

"Okay,B you got then camera ready!?"

"Hell yea,Now em makeout with that monkey!"I yelled.

He leaned down,and the monkey grabbed his neck!then after 2 mins it was over! Em wiped his muth as Gibby went to the counter. He was about to press the "ALL ANIMAL CAGES OPEN SO THEY CAN ESCAPE" button(Em named it!)

" NOOO Gibby!' But it was too late!

All of a sudden the amnimals were out in the mall!

"Fuck it Em! Why did you too even put that button in!?Shit! We are royally screwed and fucked!"I said then i realized all of it was on camera!

"Quick! Pack up shop! We were never here!"Em yelled as i turned off the camera.

10 mins later Jazzy and i were on Eddies Laptop uplosding the video on youtube.

"Em! Im hungry!!!" I yelled.

40 mins and 3 fits later I had Chinese food and a glass of flavored water!

i devoured the food and downed the water! It was awesome!

"Emm i want more water!"I yelled

~5 more cup of "water later~

'Im a fat hippo! Im a sexy fat hippo!"I screamed!

I ran up to Alices room and took out the boxes(yes Es!) marked liniergie for Bella! I picked out the scariest pieses!I put it on and walked down the stairs just as Edward and Alice walked in!

"Edwaard can we go to Candy Mountain?Yea lets gooo to caandymountain!"i said in a seductive voice.

"Emmett what did you give her!?" Edward yelled as i walked over to Alice.

"Mary Alice Cullen..."I got down on one knee."Will you marry me?" I asked and before she could answer i Kissed her full on the lips with tounge!

**Okayy! Filler chap. The inside joke is there was this creepy lunchlady at my skwl,my frnds said she wz a molester,so she fit,her name was lori! Here is the link**

**./7wwNYJv0Z8ra7aa26JLHhP2j_**

**Review! And ill update by Friday!**


	3. Holy Crappers!

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Between Eclipse and BD

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!

Ch.3 Holy Crappers!

APOV

WTF!? Bella just asked me to marry-I was cut off by BElla kissing me!I pulled away!

"Noo Alice i love you,not Edward!"she cried!

"EMMETT WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE HER!?"Edward adn I screamed!

"Hey Alice wanna go upstair,we can get it on!"She yelled!

"Umm,okay,go up there ill be up there soon!"I lied.

"So,what did you give her!?"I asked.

"Ummm...a bottle of vodka and some whiskey!"HE yelled.

Edward and I lunged!

Edward,Ill go care to Bella I thought

I walked up the stair,and into my room.

Holy Shit! Bella was naked on my bed!

"Hey baby come here!"she said in a seductive the proceeded to finger herself!

"EDWARD YOUR FIANCEE IS DOING DITURBING THINGS!"Iscreamed

Edward came running up the steps,when he looked in the room his eyes nearly dell out of his head.I could visibly see him growing hard!

"Um you may wanna get her dressed sexullay repressed!"i said rhyming,as i skipped away.

Next Day

BPOV

Man do i have a headache! Urgh,all i remember is Em giving me alot of water then nothing,oh wait Edward adn Alice came in and i went over to Alice and...! Oh Shit Did i really do that to her!?

I got up and relized i was in a robe naked!!!!

"Shit! Fuck!,Edward did we have sex!?!?!?"I yelled.

"No he said from the door way! You seduced Alice and passed out just when i got you into the robe!"He said.

So I went on to apolopgize to Alice! I mean what else was i to do! then i almost killed Emmett...It was a good week!

**Super Short! Yeah I no! This Chapter was made to(Hopefully:) clear up any confusion! Review! Go ahead click the little green button! I'll update with in the next day or so! The next chapter Alice and Emmett babysit Bella! And The Pet Shack is done!**


	4. Damn! Hard Harry!

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Between Eclipse and BD

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!

Ch.3 Damn! Hard Harry!

BPOV 2 weeks later

"Bellarina!!!!! We are gonna play truth of dare!"Emmett yelled.

"And you have to play!"Alice yelled.

Yes,the rest of the Cullens were hunting! I was Stuck with the shopaholic pixie and dumb and dumber combined! I walked down stair and sat next to Alice.

"Bella you start!" Alice yelled

"Emmett truth or Dare?"I asked

"Dareee!"

"Burn Alice and Rose's close,then you have to be there when they shop to get it all back! Unless they say otherwise!"I i am evill! Alice and Emmett looked like they wanteed to kill me!

"Alice you can shop to get it all back!"

"Yay! Emmett we are gonna have so much fun!"She screamed as he burned it all,and came back.

"Bella Truth or Dare?"He ! Truth will be worse than dare soo...

"Dare!?"

"I dare you to give Harry Potter and his 2 friends a lap dance in an out fit i provide!"

"Harry Potter isn't real!? Rite!?" I asked

"No hes real,in 6th yr at Hogwarts! Hey what 16 yr old wouldn't want a lap dance?! Oh an dyou must where the outfit until i tell you to get out of it! or we leave..." Emmett said.

~~~~~~~At Hogwarts~~~~~~~~

I was in a super slutty Gryffndor outfit. Wow here come Harry and friends now! Emmett pulled out a video camera and took out a boom box and started blaring Nelly's Hot In Herre(I luv this song! Awesome to dance to!). OMG...I walked over to them. I had a long Howarts robe on over my outfit.

"May I ask you two to sit on these chairs? and open you robes.?"I asked Harry and his friend Ron did as i asked.

the part where they said "So take off all your clothes" I let the robe fall off. They noticed! There...erm...man-hood was a bit more noticably. I was gonna do Harry first. I sauntered over to him and sat on his lap.I started rubbing and shoving my boobs in his face. (Idk how a lap dace goes soo...im winging it:)When i was finnished i rubbed my hand on his man-hood. I then did the same to ron.

"Thanks guys! ILY,lolz Nawt!"I yelled

Emmett led me to a picture af a fat lady and said "Vampire"


	5. Talent Show!:

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Between Eclipse and BD

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!

Ch.4 the school talent show!

BPOV.

Okay so school is back after that fall break. Now the talent show,which is tonight! I will be singing,with emmett Crazy is part of a dare! Alice will be singing fashion,by Lady Gaga. Rose Girls Just Wanna Have fun and Jasper Pour Some Sugar on Me,Der Leppard. Edward won't tell me what he's singing except it's the best for me!

~~~~Later that Night~~~~~~~

OMC! The Talent Show is Here! Emmett and I are last thank gawd!

First is Alice*She walks onstage!*

_Ohhh Ohhh_

_La La La_

_I am, I'm too fabu-lous_

_I'm so, fierce that it's so nuts_

_I live, to be model thin_

_Dress me, I'm your manne-quin_

_J'adore Vivienne, habillez-moi Gucci, Fendi, et Prada. Valentino, Armani too. Merde I love them Jimmy Choo._

_Fashion put it all on me_

_Don't you want to see these clothes on me_

_Fashion put it all on me_

_I am anyone you want me to be (2x)_

_Ohhh Ohhh_

_La La La_

_We love designer_

_I need, some new stile-ttos_

_Can't walk, down the street in those_

_You are, who you wear it's true_

_A girl's just as hot as the shoes she choose_

_J'adore Weitzman, habillez-moi Louis, Dolce Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, eh ou. Merde I love those Manolo_

_Fashion put it all on me_

_Don't you want to see these clothes on me_

_Fashion put it all on me_

_I am anyone you want me to be (2x)_

_Ohhh Ohhh_

_La La La_

_We love designer (2x)_

_Fashion put it all on me_

_Don't you want to see these clothes on me_

_Fashion put it all on me_

_I am anyone you want me to be (4x)_

She walked off the stage after all the applause.

Next was Rose.

_I come home in the morning light _

_My mother says when you gonna live your life right _

_Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones _

_And girls they want to have fun _

_Oh girls just want to have fun _

_The phone rings in the middle of the night _

_My father yells what you gonna do with your life _

_Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one _

_But girls they want to have fun _

_Oh girls just want to have - _

_That's all they really want _

_Some fun _

_When the working day is done _

_Girls - they want to have fun _

_Oh girls just want to have fun _

_Some boys take a beautiful girl _

_And hide her away from the rest of the world _

_I want to be the one to walk in the sun _

_Oh girls they want to have fun _

_Oh girls just want to have _

_That's all they really want _

_Some fun _

_When the working day is done _

_Girls - they want to have fun _

_Oh girls just want to have fun, _

_They want to have fun, _

_They want to have fun.... _

Now Jasper!!!

_Step inside, walk this way_

_You and me babe, Hey, hey! _

_Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on _

_Livin' like a lover with a radar phone _

_Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp _

_Demolition woman, can I be your man? _

_Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light _

_Television lover, baby, go all night _

_Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet _

_Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah _

_Hey! _

_C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up _

_Break the bubble, break it up _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Ooh, in the name of love _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_C'mon fire me up _

_Pour your sugar on me _

_Oh, I can't get enough _

_I'm hot, sticky sweet _

_From my head to my feet yeah _

_Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go! _

_Crazy little woman in a one man show _

_Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love _

_Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up _

_You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little _

_Tease a little more _

_Easy operator come a knockin' on my door _

_Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet _

_Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah _

_Take a bottle, shake it up _

_Break the bubble, break it up _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Ooh, in the name of love _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_C'mon fire me up _

_Pour your sugar on me _

_Oh, I can't get enough _

_I'm hot, sticky sweet _

_From my head to my feet yeah _

_[guitar solo] _

_You got the peaches, I got the cream _

_Sweet to taste, saccharine _

_'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet _

_From my head, my head, to my feet _

_Do you take sugar? one lump or two? _

_Take a bottle, shake it up _

_Break the bubble, break it up _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Ooh, in the name of love _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_C'mon fire me up _

_Pour your sugar on me _

_Oh, I can't get enough _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Oh, in the name of love _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Get it, come get it _

_Pour your sugar on me _

_Ooh _

_Pour some sugar on me _

_Yeah! Sugar me!_

Now was the one I'd been waiting for! Edward!

"Sorry Bella,But this one is for you,and Emmett!"

_You got a body like the devil and you smell like sex_

_I can tell you're trouble but I'm still obsessed_

_Because you know you're_

_SO HOT I wanna get you alone_

_SO HOT I wanna get you stoned_

_SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend_

_I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again_

_Yeaa_

_Come on_

_Yea_

_You're like the kiss of death, like the hand of faith_

_I can tell you're trouble but I still wanna taste_

_Because you know you're_

_SO HOT I wanna get you alone_

_SO HOT I wanna get you stoned_

_SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend_

_I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again_

_Because you know you're_

_SO HOT I wanna get you alone_

_SO HOT I wanna get you stoned_

_SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend_

_I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again_

_You're So Hot, I wanna get you alone_

_I wanna get you stoned_

_I dont wanna be your friend_

_I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna seeyou again_

_See you again_

_See you again_

*crickets*

He walked off stage. Then came the applause and a very angry Charlie.

"I'm gonna kill that boy!" With that he walked away.

Now was Em and me

(Bella's Bold,Em's Italics)

_All right!_

_Break me down, you got a lovely face_

_We're going to your place_

_And now you got to freak me out_

_Scream so loud, getting fuckin' laid_

_You want me to stay, but I got to make my way_

**Hey**

**You're crazy bitch**

**But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it**

**When I dream, I'm doing you all night**

**Scratches all down my back to keep me right on**

_Hey_

_You're a crazy bitch_

_But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night_

_Scratches all down my back to keep me right on_

_Take it off, the paper is your game_

_You jump in bed with fame_

_Another one night paid in full, uh_

_You're so fine, it won't be a loss_

_Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face_

**Hey**

**You're a crazy bitch**

**But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it**

**When I dream, I'm doing you all night**

**Scratches all down my back to keep me right on**

_Hey_

_You're a crazy bitch_

_But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night_

_Scratches all down my back to keep me right on_

_Get the video_

_fuck you so good_

_Get the video_

_fuck you so good_

**Crazy bitch**

**Crazy bitch**

**Crazy...bitch**

**Hey**

**You're a crazy bitch**

**But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it**

**When I dream, I'm doing you all night**

**Scratches all down my back to keep me right on**

_Hey_

_You're a crazy bitch_

_But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night_

_Scratches all down my back, come on_

_Baby girl_

_You want it all_

_To be a star_

_You'll have to go down_

**Take it off**

**No need to talk**

**You're crazy**

**But I like the way you fuck me**

**Hey**

**You're a crazy bitch**

**But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it**

**When I dream, I'm doing you all night**

**Scratches all down my back to keep me right on**

_Hey_

_You're a crazy bitch_

_But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night_

_Scratches all down my back to keep me right on_

_You keep me right on_

_**You're crazy**_

_**But I like the way you fuck me**_

Wild Applause. An Angry Rose,Carlisle,Esme,Charlie,and Edward. Followed by an amused Alice and Japser.

"Emmett put me on your back and RUN!!!!!!"

_**Okay this was a Ch.1 I had wanted to do 4 a while now! When Edward said this is 4 you...he was being sarcastic! 5 reviews and you get a new ch! SO reveiw! Songs=**_

_**Fashion-Lady Gaga(Alice)**_

_**Girls Just Wanna Have Fun-Cindy Lauper(Rosalie)**_

_**Pour Some Sugar On Me-Def Leppard(Jazz)**_

_**So Hott-Kid Rock(Edward)**_

_**Crazy Bitch-BuckCherry(Emmett and Bella!)**_


	6. Author NoteSry

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

**Authors Note: Okay ppl I know u hate these,I do to,but i have sumthing to say:] So i have major writers block on this story:( BUT i have an idea. Wht I wz thinking is speeding up time, Bella is a vamp and Nessie is born? Its would fit soo much better w/ the ideas I wanna do. Im not completly blocked just blocked on human bella. Vamp Emmett and Bella can do way more adn worse or funnier? Sooo what do u thnk? Opions are nessicary cuz w/o em i won't update cuz i dnt no wut to do! Wrst comes to wrst I'll write its a bella vamp if its hated itss all be a dream or a very long vision by Alice:] What Do u thnk??**

**ILYA:]**

**~Steffie Hale:]~**


	7. Another Authors Note! IMPORTANT!

OMG! I am soo sorry tht i haven't updated in 4ever! School and choir an drama and newspaper... have been keeping me soo busy. plus i have soo much homewrk. I will try and update my stories soon. EAYS will be updated very soon cuz it has a chapter almost finished. Hope to have the ch out by next week. Again sry. Don't stop reading tho!!

ILYA!

~Steph~


	8. The Prank!

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Okayyy,Its been decided. Bella will b turned into a vampire AFTER this chap. i already had this planed and it only wrks if shez human

Last Jasper adn Emmett watch B as a human!:] R&R

BPOV

Edward and the rest of the gang are going hunting except tweedle dee and tweedle dumb,3 guesses who and 2 don't count. OOHHH look,Public Enemys is on! Yayyy!! I luv Johnny Depp(AN:I luv him soo much!:] i wz watching that movie soo yea:)!

''So Belly,What are we watching??''Em asked.

"Public Enemys. Hey wanna make me cookies?"

"Suuurree! Jazzy lets get to bakin while Bells watches her movie!"

EmPOV.

We are watching bella for a full 4 days! Yay! She wants us to make cookies. What do i put in them?/

"Jazz get the ingrediants."

Jasper got out flour,and a bunch of other crap.

"I wanna do the flour!"I said tugging on the flour.

"Noo! I wanna!"Jazz said tugging on the other end.

"SHUT UP! I am watching the hottest guy in the world! Ill do it!"Bella yelled.

Then it....broke! I busted out laughing. I t was all over Bella and Jazz. The only difference on Jazz was the clothes and hair,Bella looked like avampire. OMG that would be a perfect prank!

"Bella Jazz wanna play a prank on Eddie?"

"What does it involve?"asked bella cautionsly.

"Making Ed think Jazz lost control,sorry jazz, and turned you. We can get bright red contacts,and put powder and flour all over you!"

"Okay"Jazz and Bella said.

"I speed dialed Alice.

_"Hello???"_

_"Alice,block your mind."_

_"Why??" _

_"Cuz Im gunna make Eddie think B is a vampire,cuz Jasper lost control. You will most likely see it in a vision."_

_"Okay,Edward is hunting miles away though."_

_"k C ya,"_

Now onto the cookies,cuz i had already ordered her contacts.

Wow! Jazz had the doughy stuff ready.

Oooh! Hot Sause. Human love this stuff,right? Oh well.

BPOV

Public Enemys was over... Wait cookies are done.

"Who made these?"

"I did Bells"Jasper said. They are safe,and look yummy. I took a bite,yum....oh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"HOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"My mouth was on fire. i ran over to te sink and drank water out of the faucet.

"What the freek did you put in those?"

"I put the red sause you like!"Em said.

What an Idiot!

"I like KETCHUP!,and besides you dont put 'red sause' in cookies!" I yelled.

"Ooops" Emmett said.

"Hes hopeless" Jasper muttered.

~~~ 3 dayz later(day they come back)~~~

"Ok guys,I talked to Alice and she said they would be back at 10:26(AN:the time i wz born!:)am,so its...9:58. I'll get Bella ready. Jasper at 10:23 you will need to act sad,remorseful,etc. Belly you will be outside,'hunting'. I will give you clothes that look dirty,some blood on them. I have your red contacts,and special body powder. I would use flour,but it smells to us so they would figure it out. "Emmett said in a military voice,"Oh and I have some stuff I 'borrowed' from Volturi Labs,it is a shot that you put in a humans blood to make the smell like disapper. Since it takes 24 hrs to start I gave the shot to you yesterday morning....that was the pinch you felt in your sleep. It lasts a full week!"

"And Bella before you say anything,we tried it out on Mike Newton last week, that was before we thought of this plan,but we had it and wanted to see if it works. It does,no side effects. We also found this stuff that people use to make their heart not audible,even to vampires. Again tested in Newton. I t works to. Once again it was given to you yesterday."Jasper said.

"Okay so I'll pretty much not have a pulse,my blood not smell,and I'll have red eyes?"I asked.

"Yeah!"Em said.

So Emmett gave me a pretty blue dress,the powder,and my red contacts. Wait who would hunt in a dress...?

"Em who hunts in a dress??"

"Uhhhh... nevermind that,you were out back. K?"

I nodded. Once I was done with everything I looked at myself in the mirrior,wow i looked pretty! 10:20! EEEEEEPPP!! I ran outside.

I hope this works

EMPOV

10:20 Lets pray this oes well

JPOV

OOHH I hope Edward doesn't kill me!

EPOV

YAY! Im almost home to Bella!

Its...10:25,Alice said 10:26.

"Were here!"

Emmett walked out of the house with a sullen Jasper following. What wrong? Wait a sec....I DON'T SMELL BELLA!!!!! They killed her!

"YOU KILLED HER!" I shouted.

"Edward Jasper didn't kill her...he accidently changed her...I was too late to stop it but I pulled him off her. She is out back. I must say she is odd,no blood lust really. I still would be careful..."Emmett said.

Oh Shit.

CPOV

Oh my Cullen

EsPOV

Oh no! Poor Jasper and Bella!

APOV

*she is just thinking this for the sake of keeping the secret* Aww man,poor Jazzy. Oh well it was bound to happen sometime!

RPOV

Poor Bella. Never thought i'd say-think- that. She actaully didn't have a choice...I wish I had never come off so mean. I never hated her. I also see her as a sister. Time I show it!

BPOV

They bought it! HAhahahahahaha! They freekin bought it! yayayayayay! Oh Shit! I hope Emmett doesn't get stupid and think I am still human....!

EPOV

_Ooohhh! He bought! Damn Eddie iz stupid! I can't believe he.........oh shit! He can read ,my mind!_

"EMMETTT!!!!!!!" I bellowed.

~~~~~~Later~~~~

So after Bella had apologized a billion times I forgave her. Emmett not so much. I forgave Jasper and Bella,not Emmett. Oh well. I know that Bella is evil at times now! I hope they don't do anything stupid.

"HAHAHA TAKE THAT EVIL FRUITS!"

**ILYA:] Tht last line wz a reference to my other story!**

**~Steffie Hale:]~**


	9. Chapter 9 Jail?

Emmett why are you so stupid!?

Ch.6 Jail?

BPOV  
OMGG!!!!!! Its been 10 yrs since i was a human. Nessie look 16. Tonight Edward amd Emmett are taking me and Rose to a bar. Alcohol does in fact work on vamps.

~At the bar~

Boy its crowded. The music is pumping!!!! AHH!

"Hey Bella wanna daceyy" saidEmmett drunkenly.

"Sure!" I was drunk too though.

We danced and drank as Rosalie and Edward looked at us disapprovingly. Then all of a sudden I smelt it. Ohhh Shiznit. That smelly oil stuff was GASOLINE. Not smart to put a match to it.

"The Roof is on Fire!" scream a person.

Me an dEm ran for the door. Oh shiznit.

"Your under arrest." said some popo.

"Why?" said Emmett stupidly.

" 'Cuz y'all had the gas and burned it down killing 3 people."

"Oh Shiznit." I said.

~Next Day at Jail~

"You have been asked to come to court tomarrow. You will not be granted bail." said a police officer.

"Wait. Who Died?" I asked.

"Hmm? Alice Xenipolpoc(I jst typeed tht randomly) Edward Cullen and Britney Murphy."

"Edward died?" I asked.

"His father found his charred reamains. Hes dead."

~Court~

"I hereby sentence you to 10 years without bail for murder in the 2nd degree." said Judge Schyler.

:Oh shiznit:

~Prison~

Emmett and I share a cell. Rose divorced him. THe Cullens disowned us. Life is good. Ah wel Emmett and I have hoooked up.

"Hello." said Harry Potter?

Oh Shiznit

THE END

**Okayyyy So this may be it on this story. I am finishing all my twilight stories.**** I have sadly come to the conclusion that I no longer like Twilight. Therefore can't write ff on Twilight. I am sorry but yeah. I may delete this aacount,well know,but I will not be posting any more Twilight or Twirelated stories. SORRY.**

**Steph~ **


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